Transcript of: The No-Bullshit Emporium

Prepanel: They're open until midnight on Christmas Eve

Panel 1

Sign: The NO Bullshit Emporium

Panel 2

Clerk: Hi! How are you today?

Customer: What IS this place?

Panel 3

Clerk: We're the No Bullshit Emporium - We sell everyday things that have been reformatted to reflect their true nature! Like this magic eight ball that only answers "How the hell should I know?" Or this handsome bike helmet here.

Helmet label: I am a fucking weiner

Clock label: You're still not dead

Baseball poster: Steroids

Panel 4

Customer: I see. So, for instance, if I were to ask if you have a copy of "Dianetics" by L. Ron Hubbard, you'd say...

Clerk: ...Regular or quilted?

Customer: Gotcha.

Mouseover text: (for the record, this comic was drawn before i knew who sarah palin was)