Transcript of: The Crowd at a Rock Show
1 Guy whose basis of musical knowledge is mis-labeled file-sharing mp3s, so he gets really irate when the band for some reason don't play their big hit "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
2 Just came for the beer, even though the beer is double the price of retail and it cost thirty bucks to get in.
3 Obligatory guy who is frozen in time in 1978.
4 Band's friends and family shooting gallery.
5 People who are just there to be seen even though no-one is fucking looking at them.
6 The jealous, mentally nitpicking the band because they have no musical talent themselves.
7 Hipster music critic for the local alt-weekly who had already composed his scathing review before the even took the stage and now directs his energies toward leering at teenage girls.
8 Horrible scry guy who preferred the band's old drummer and thus spends the whole show giving the death stare from the front row.
9 People who are just there because they think the lead singer is hot.
10 Guy making an unwatchable YouTube video instead of enjoying the show.
11 Pudgy loser with a soulless corporate job who is planning to hit on the female bass player after the show with his winning icebreaker about how he just bought a guitar and he, y'know, really likes music and thinks she's talented and some other futile bullshit.
13 People who came to hear the one well-known song but can't risk going for a smoke in case they miss it.
14 Won tickets off the radio with the gals at work.
15 Local representative of the Association of Loutish Boors.
16 Likes the band.