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Not Worth It!

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Transcript of: Not Worth It!

Tuesdays at 8/7 central

Panel 1

Rumbutter: I'm Rumbutter McSquash, and it'd like to welcome you back for the final round of Not Worth It!! Let's have a look at the standings!! Dave is in 3rd place with 8700 points and has curled up into the fetal position behind his podium! Suzanne is tied for first place with Eustace but she has stopped responding to stimuli and thus was unable to answer that last question about the death toll in Darfur!! Let's play!!

Panel 2

Rumbutter: Eustace!! You now have the chance to take sole posession of 1st place!! ARE YOU READY?!

Eustace: no...

Panel 3

Rumbutter: Excellent!!! The category is "Man's inhumanity to man!" Your question: The victims of THIS violent, sexually based hate crime are often so traumatized by their ordeal that they fall into a cycle of depression and despair and even suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder! In fact, according to the US dept. of justice, 60% of victims do not report their rape to police! But why should they when only a shocking 16% of rapists are successfully convicted and serve jail time!! What is the crime I'm referring to??

Panel 4

Eustace: r...rape?

Rumbutter: YES!! and a general lack of societal empathy should continue to supress justice well into the future! Eustace... You've taken 1st place!! You now have the chance to DOUBLE your money in the BONUS ROUND! And with the megabonus follow-up question your winnings could total 12 THOUSAND DOLLARS!!

Panel 5

Rumbutter: Eustace, here is your bonus question! The category is "Mass Murder" Which Nazi Dictator said the following on  August 22, 1939: "I have given orders to my death units to exterminate without mercy or pity men, women and children belonging to te polish-speaking race. It is only in this manner that we can acquire the vital territory which we need. After all, who remembers today the extermination o the Armenians?"

Panel 6

Eustace: hitler?

Rumbutter: YES! The answer is Adolf Hitler!! Capitalizing on his people's ignorance of the past, the austrian-born madman was able to translate his personal prejudices into a world-altering bloodbath - a pattern that has been seen again and again in the decades since!! Eustace - you have just won TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!

Panel 7

Rumbutter: Don't go anywhere Eustace! To win an extra 2000 dollars, just answer this MEGA-BONUS question: How many people were slaughtered in the cruelly-forgotten Armenian genocide? Was it: A) 4 ; B) 17; or C) A minimum of 600,000??

Eustace: c.

Panel 8

Rumbutter: YES!! EUSTACE - YOU'VE DONE IT!! YOU'VE WON THE MAXIMUM PRIZE MONEY!! A dollar for every 50 dead Armenians! How do you feel?? How does it feel to thrive in a world where unspoken tragedies are building up like plaque in the arteries of society?? What will you do with your winnings?? A caribbean cruise?? A new speedboat?? An above-ground swimming pool?!

Eustace: i don't know

Panel 9

Rumbutter: Well, that's it for this week's show!! This is Rumbutter McSquash saying goodnight everyone! Say it with me, Eustace: THIS HAS BEEN...

Eustace: ...not worth it.


Image title: sixteenfuckingpercent.jpg

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