Transcript of: Mrs. Smith is a nasty piece of work
Snow clearing person: Afternoon, Ma'am! Would you like your walk cleared for five bucks?
Sign: 246 The Smiths
Luisa: Five dollars? That's pretty cheap! Yeah, you could probably clear the walk. There's also a side path to the garage, if you could do that too? And you should probably be careful with the shovels on the stones, 'cause they chip really easy.
Snow clearing person: Oh, don't worry, you're stones won't get chipped! We don't use shovels-we use a 16th century russian howitzer. Your walk might get obliterated, but it won't get chipped.
Luisa: Holy Cow! How much does that thing weigh??
Snow clearing person: 38 metric tons. Plus 800kg of grapeshot. It's a bitch to load, but it really clears out the snow!
Luisa: Won't the house get hit? How much collateral damage is there?
Snow clearing person: Honestly, the house is gonna get heavily damaged. No real way around it, sadly.
Luisa: And you're only charging five dollars?
Snow clearing person: Well, we reload between houses, so the snow clearing is only like 3 seconds of actual work. Anyway, it's not about the money, it's about giving new life to classic artillery. It's too bad it's so cold out though – in this weather we can only fire the thing 70 times a day without causing undue barrel stress.
Luisa: How many times have you fired it today?
Snow clearing person: Oh, about 40 times so far, but most of those were over lunchtime when the cops showed up in force. You'd be surprised what this baby can do to an armored truck! Anyhow, can we get to work? If so, you might want to head down to the basement so the concussive force doesn't shatter your eardrums.
Luisa: Okay, I'll do that! Go ahead and get started and I'll get you some hot chocolate for after. Thanks, guys!
Snow clearing person: Wicked! A sale!
Mrs. Smith: Who was at the door?!
Luisa: Just some guys who offered to clear the walk. I gave them five dollars!
Mrs. Smith: Five dollars?! Well it's coming out of your pay! Clearing the walk is supposed to be YOUR job, Luisa! Did you weasel out of your snow shoveling in La Paz, too?!
Luisa: Come here, Janey! Let's go to the basement for a second!
Page title: Mrs. Smith Had it Coming