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Transcript of: If TV was a person

Panel 1:

LadyTV: So, they wheel the guy into the operating room and they still don't know what's wrong with him so they're just about to perform an exploratory surgery when the doors fly open and a bunch of federal agents storm in!!

Panel 2

Ginger: Federal agents?! That's crazy!

Panel 3

LadyTV: Yeah! Suits, dark glasses - The whole bit! And they're like, "Stop what you're doing! This man is not who you think he is and we're taking him into custody!" And they seize the gurney and start wheeling the guy out of there!

Panel 4

Brunette: Are you serious?! So what happened next?

Panel 5

LadyTV: Well, they - YOU'RE TOO FAT!! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK LIKE FASHION MODELS?! MAYBE YOU SHOULD DEVOTE MORE TIME TO WEIGHT LOSS!! AND LOOK AT YOUR HAIR!! IT'S TOO GREASY AND HAS NO BODY OR VOLUME!! WHO'S GOING TO LIKE YOU WITH HAIR LIKE THAT?! YOU'RE DISGUSTING!! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!!

Panel 6

Ginger: Could you just finish the story?

LadyTV: IN TWO MINUTES!! AAAH! YOUR TEETH- THEY'RE PRACTICALLY SCHOOLBUS YELLOW!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT GUYS ONLY DATE GIRLS WITH PERFECTLY WHITE TEETH!! EVERYONE'S GOING TO HATE YOU UNLESS YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE TEETH!

Panel 7

LadyTV: AND YOU DON'T EVEN DRIVE LATE MODEL SUVs!! EVERYONE HAS A LATE-MODEL SUV!! EVERYONE!!! BUT YOU JUST SIT THERE ALL FAT AND UGLY WITH BAD HAIR AND TEETH AND YOU DO NOTHING!!! AND ANOTHER THING...

Ginger: Why do we keep coming over here?

Brunette: I don't know


page title: an afternoon of television

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