Transcript of: Down at the drugstore
PHG: Hey, how's it going? Do you sell letter openers? I keep wrecking my nails on, like, bank statements and stuff.
Employee: We don't, I'm sorry. There was a break-in a couple nights ago and they were all stolen, again.
PHG: They were stolen? That's CRAZY. Who would steal letter openers?
Employee: Sinister agents of the scissor industry, that's who! they'll do anything to eliminate the competition! I shouldn't even be telling you this. Their people are everywhere.
PHG: The scissor industry?! Are you serious?
Employee: Yeah! I MEAN NO!!
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